My husband is 56 years old and was diagnosed with multiple myeloma on Aug. 24th, 2009. He has been undergoing chemo treatments every month which started in September. He is scheduled for a stem cell transplant the end of January, 2010. Since he has been undergoing the treatments his glaucoma is out of control, and the eyesight is extremely blurry. He is recovering from shingles which attacted the left side of his head, has lost about 5% of his weight, and the closer it gets to the transplant date becomes more anxious and fearful that he won't be strong enough for procedure and that his eyesight will not clear up and his glaucoma cannot become controlled. What can I do to relieve his stress? Any hints would be appreciated. Thank you.
Kathie

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Hello Kathie
I am sorry your husband is fighting cancer. I am a two time cancer survivor and I know the diagnosis hits everyone in the family. It is a fearsome time for everyone.

It is important to be there for your husband. Your loving presence alone can be a healing salve him.

Don't predict the future. I wanted to hear hopeful stories. I did not want to hear, " you are going to be just fine", only the doctors can tell you how you are really doing.

My husband bought me meditation tapes. I found them helpful.

My family allowed me time to myself and were always there when I wanted to just go for a walk or a drive in the country.

Joining a support group like caring voices could help your husband talk to other cancer patients fighting some of the same issues.

My family held me and we agreed to take one day at a time. we also researched the cancers and found treatment options for me

I also sought the help of an excellent therapist at PMH. There are certain things I needed to talk about to someone other then my family members.

I hope you check the events title on caring voices home page. You will find excellent chats for caregivers too Kathie. I know my family found great comfort talking to social workers and oncology nurses.

Finding the best doctors for your husbands eyes will help arrest his fears. I liked to be fully informed and know my options.

I hope this message helps Kathie.

Just before my first (of five) surgeries my husband hugged me and said, " I am holding your hand in my heart." I went to sleep with his beautiful face in my mind and heart.

Kindest regards,

Jennifer Prober

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Hello, to reply to your husbands situation, the stem cell transplant itself is not really anything to get anxious about , trust me, throwing up was the worst for me, and after awhile, I got so used to it , I almost started to enjoy the relief, that may sound strange but it just felt that way, as for weight loss, I'm 53 and I was 225 and went down to 154, I had my son take some before and after, if that doesn't perk you up on the humorous side of things ,not much else will, I reminded myself of one of these guys with high water slacks where the waist is just under my sternum, and the belt is on the last hole and hanging down to my good knee, seriously, when they began my transplant I sat up and put my head between my knees, sitting up grasping my legs, my knees up, and other than the nurses with there encouragement i gathered my thoughts and was oblivious to everything and everyone in the room, self meditation, sometimes I would grab a small mirror when alone and stare at myself and tell myself to relax counting my breaths and slowing them down as much as i could and trying to feel my heartbeat and thinking about the people that I love, I hope this helped, you will be fine,tell yourself you will be, I'm had my transplant oct 15, central line out just before christmas, and I'm 186 pounds, don't eat fatty foods, hot dogs and macaroni and cheese unless of course you want to relieve your stomach of its contents, be well

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I'm back just for one more thing, I told my doctor how I was doing, he just told me whether I was right or wrong, he did the standard stuff, and really well, and knew what to do when I asked about this or that, lots of thises and thats, uh huh, a certain protocol is followed, but its what you have in you that matters, that really matters, and I wanted to mention that I'm in complete remission, bye for now

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Hi Kathie,
Your husband is probably in recovery now after his stem cell transplant. Hope it all went well. I had my transplant on December 30 and now at home in recovery. I was expecting to be a lot more ahead by now, but still some fatigue during the day and not much appetite. Still trying to find foods to enjoy.

Keepon, thanks for the humour and positive attitude you expressed. How's the itchiness? I've got a lot of that too.

Well hope we myeloma patients will continue to message and share our experiences.

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How did the transplant go? Is your husband back on his feet and in remission? Was it easier than the fear of anticipation led you to believe? I'm starting the stem cell collection process and the whole thing terrifies me, especially the extra strong chemo and vulnerability to infection after transplant. I have a history of pneumonias.....

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I believe that the expression is, I have no fear - except fear itself. Of what? Well,in and of itself that question alone poses a whole minefield. Today, I am 77 and back in 1999 I was somewhat younger and re-visiting an old battleground in Seoul, South Korea. During the 14 day stay I experienced severe leg bone pain while at the same time I sucked on cold tablets trying to get rid of walking pneumonia; short breath.
Back home my family doctor immediately directed me to a specialist and within days confirmed multimy. Just as swiftly I found myself in PMarg undergoing a stem cell thingy - only because I barely came in under the age limitation resriction. Thank heavens for two things which occurred in rapid succession - my family doctor had the foresight to pass me to the right specialist and - I qualified for the stemcell procedure. My quality of life had been sealed, thank God.
Until 2009 it was remissonsville. Ten years of normal life practices and procedures. Last year my protein count tried to sneak up so I was put on a course of three weeks of revlimid plus dexamethasone with the fourth week off. And that, basically, is my treatment today and the only thing which has been incorporated into my living rhythm.
I often fly between Berlin and Naples Florida with a G.B thrown in every once in a while as I rough `n tumble with the grand children who are spread hither and yon.
Can you imagine us multimy candidates in an earlier age? Today, we are blessed with a new drug or drug/drip combi almost daily and a current awareness program which is being spread like the gospel. I am glad to be alive - and its thanks to the research departments in clinics all over the world as they share "finds" by merely pressing an email key.
Maix ya tink dunnit? Ron

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